The art of crafting a kick-ass outreach message for LinkedIn (plus 12 ready-to-use templates that work)

There is a screen separating us. The same screen separates you from like-minded professionals you want to connect with on LinkedIn. 

Now that’s both good news and bad news. The bad news is that LinkedIn is full of spammy profiles sending canned messages – it’s tricky to stand out.

The good news, however, is that last week, we did something different here at Salesloop. We dug deep into why some messages get a response while others fail along with studying some timeless lessons from copywriting legends. Here’s what we found

Hold your horses

Before rolling up your sleeves and diving head first into cold messaging people, you wanna make sure your profile is professionally optimized – that’s like 50 cents out of your dollar.

Once that’s set and done, you can either scroll double down to find 12 ready-to-use templates that would 2x your response rate or linger a bit longer to learn how to craft a chilling outreach message yourself. It’s up to you really, can’t tell you what to do, can we?

Let’s dive in

The first sentence

The goal of your first sentence is to compel the reader to read your second sentence. For instance, notice the first line of this blog:

“There is a screen separating us, It’s the same screen that separates you from like-minded people on LinkedIn”

It paints a picture in your mind and makes you curious enough to read the second sentence. That’s what good writing is all about, making them see what you’re saying with your words and compelling them to read on.

Recently, I came across this go daddy ad on youtube that was so good, I couldn’t help but stop scrolling, watch the whole thing and take notes. It started like this:

You might not know what SSL is but hackers do and they hate it. That is why you need it. 

*tell me moreeee*

The second sentence

Writing a great first sentence is half the battle – it’s gonna get your foot through the door. The other half is writing an even better second sentence as it will decide whether you get your response or go straight down the “seenzone” rabbit hole.

To craft a kick-ass second sentence, the goal is to give them a reason to get back to you. This is where you should be as specific as possible and ask questions like what’s in it for them or what they would lose if they don’t get back to you. E.g

Hi X, I’m Demi – a Growth Marketer. But I know that’s boring & doesn’t concern you.

So how about I send you a kickass guide on how we drove 1,500 paid customers from LinkedIn for “your competitor” in just 4 months? 

Click accept if you’re interested. Or you’ll never hear from me again!”

Give a genuine compliment

It’s pretty basic but it’s the most basic things we forget from time to time.

Research says that receiving a sincere compliment gives us the same positive boost as receiving cash. Stay away from mindless flattery and go with something you genuinely find interesting about the person you want to connect with. For example,

Came across your profile when I was looking for like-minded marketers in the same area to connect with. Loved your latest post on automating emails to save time.

I have been closely looking at your body of work and I must say that your articles are so in-depth. I particularly enjoyed reading {name_blog} and shared it as well.

Add cliffhangers

A bit of foreplay isn’t gonna hurt anybody, eh? Writers use cliffhangers to keep you on the edge of your seat turning page after page until the end.

Take Game of Thrones for example. It leaves unresolved events between chapters including the untimely and unexpected deaths of the main characters. 

Using cliffhangers in your outreach message is an excellent way to make people read your message from start to finish. e.g

“Hi Bob, 

Just like you, every manager wants to make more sales. Unfortunately, many are unaware of arguably the smartest sales strategy of all time –– one that I will share with you by the end of this message…”

Read it out loud

David Abbot, one of the greatest copywriters, always read his copy out loud. It helped him check the rhythm and the flow of the whole piece. 

Just like Abbot, make a habit of reading your cold message out loud. See if it sounds natural and effortless, like a message from your friend or from some half-decent salesman trying to sell you something. e.g

Before: Google employs a complex algorithm to analyze and index information so that it’s universally attainable and advantageous… what?

After: Google’s mission is to organize the World’s information and make it universally accessible and useful

Keep it short and sweet

You know how the saying goes, if something can’t be written on the back of an envelope, it’s rubbish

Back in 2002, when the competitors of Ipod were talking essays of all technical jargon about their products, Steve Jobs went with this one simple line that’s arguably the greatest slogan ever written

A good rule of thumb is to squeeze your message down to 3-4 sentences so your prospect can read it within 4 seconds. It takes time to make it clean but worth the effort.

Without further ado, check out these 12 ready-to-use cold messages that worked for 9/10 people like you – they will work for you too!

1:

“Hey, [Name].

I see that you work at [their company name]. We’ve had a client similar to your business and helped them achieve [the goal you’ve helped them achieve].

I believe that your company could, too, achieve [the goal]. Would you like to connect and discuss this opportunity?

[Your Name].”

2:

“Thanks for connecting with me, [Name].

Here’s how [your past client’s company name] managed to achieve [the metric] – [a link to a customer success story/ video].

I’ve done some research on [their company name]. As far as I understand, you currently have a [problem your product solves]. Is that right?”

3:

“Hey {first_name},

In 10 minutes, I can explain how (your company) can win 100 new customers

I recently used this strategy to help our client {SaaS Company/Competitor} almost triple their monthly run rate.

{first_name}, let’s schedule a quick call so you can learn more and see whether it works for you.”

4:

“Hi {first_name}, I’m Demi – a Growth Marketer. But I know that’s boring & doesn’t concern you. 

So how about I send you a kickass guide on how we drove 1,500 paid customers from LinkedIn in just 4 months? 

Click accept if you’re interested. Or you’ll never hear from me again!”

5:

“Hey {first_name}, your profile was at the top of the search results for professionals in the {your_industry} field.

I would love to connect and learn more about what you do at {company_name}

 (your name)”

6:

“Hey {first_name}, I noticed you are a {your_industry} leader and wanted to reach out. 

Always looking to connect with pioneers in the {your_industry} space. 

Looking forward to learning from one another.

(your name).”

7:

Hello (first_name), hope that you are doing fine. 

I have been closely looking at your body of work and I must say that your articles are so in-depth. I particularly enjoyed reading {{name_blog}} and shared it as well. 

Just like you,  I am also a part of the same industry, it would be great if we can take this conversation forward and share ideas with each other.

Are you free for a quick call?

Thanks,

(Your_name)

8:

“Hi {first_name}, I noticed your profile and wanted to reach out as I see we are both members of the Facebook Group (name of group). 

I guess we have a lot in common. Love it! 

Let’s connect.

(your_name)”

9:

“Hey [First_Name]! I’m from [Area], too! It’s so great to see people from the local area here.

 I’d love to build a network of local like-minded professionals – would you like to connect?”

10:

“Morning, [First_Name]! I’ve seen the comment you left under the post about X.

I agree with you entirely and would like to find out what you think about Y. Would you like to connect so we could chat?”

11:

Hey there, {First_Name},

I have been following your content for a while now and enjoy reading your opinions on ( the topics they write about).

I especially enjoyed {insert name of post/blog title – include why you liked it}. I’d love to connect to keep up with more of your content. 

Have a great day, 

{Your_Name}

12:

“Hey {first_name},

Came across your profile when I was looking for like-minded marketers in the same area to connect with.

Loved your latest post on automating emails to save time. Hope to connect and keep up with more of your content.

Cheers,

(your_name).”

Parting note

We believe that outreach messages, in most cases, are like art. They require a bit of compliment, one tablespoon of curiosity, a few shakes of personalization, or when necessary a Linkedin invitation automation tool like Salesloop (shameless mention).

A final tip is to be human. You can have all the strategies and amazing tools in your locker but do not forget about the human being on the other end of the screen, make a real connection with that one person and you’ll develop a network of like-minded professionals in no time.

Happy connecting!